The Debate over Sexual Consent

So, how do you know when it’s NOT okay to have sex with someone? That seems to be the question that is NOT popping up all over the country. It seems that every Frat Boy ever has a problem answering this question, yet their female counterparts are blamed then shamed. No one can deny how quickly a friendly night out with a mixed group of friends can turn into a hot-and-heavy, vodka fueled, one-on-one. It’s crazy how fast things can escalate sometimes! But if you’ve reached the point in the evening where you’re the only one moving; THE FUN IS OVER.


I understand that there can be blurred lines. You might be getting all the right signals and all of a sudden things change. That happens. Girls are fickle. (Sorry, ladies.) Everything could be going fine and then we realize that your breath stinks, or you have little kid sheets, or your toenails are weird. All types of things turn us off. Oh yea, and we’re thinking the ENTIRE time while we’re having sex. BUT NO MATTER WHAT, AT ANY TIME, MAN OR WOMAN, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY NO. And yes, your partner may be upset by your choice to discontinue any action, but it absolutely DOES NOT give them the right to continue any actions against your will. It does not give them the right to force you.
What would you do?
Let’s say Mike and Kat spent all night out with their friends at their favorite bar. Kat has a MAJOR crush on Mike and she’s been laying it on pretty thick since she’s pretty drunk. They stumble back to Mike’s place where they start making out. She orally pleasures Mike, but when he goes to return the favor, he realizes that Kat has passed out due to her drunken state. What should he do? She CLEARLY is into him, right? She totally wants it, right? Hmmm….Something tells me that Kat might want to at least REMEMBER hooking up with Mike. And since she can’t VERBALLY tell him that she wants to continue, he should DEFINITELY STOP!
What’s more, women REALLY love it when a man is a “true gentleman” and doesn’t take advantage of her. (Trust me guys, the longer you make her wait, the more points you will gain!) Kat will want to see Mike again (sober) and give him a bigger bite of that cookie he started to nibble on the night before (wink).
Plus, do you really want to wake up tomorrow morning a rapist?
Take a look at this VIDEO. It’s a young man talking about sexual consent from a guy’s point-of-view.
What are your thoughts on sexual consent?
PoetRaeMonet, author of ‘The Birds, the Bees, and the Boudoir,’ delivers bold and empowering erotic poems to address the blatant lack of Sexual Education in America. A Washington, DC native, Rae has a natural talent for wordplay, making her an accomplished poet, author, and songwriter. She is featured weekly on The Oral Hour and Chocolate Thursdays on the Hilltop Radio Show and is a contributor to Primo Fashions USA Magazine. Find her book here: